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About Hamilton

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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As I’m heading home, I get a text from my mate. He’s at the pub, and they’ve got a special on craft beers. I’m like, “Why not?” I swing by, and the place is packed. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m thinking, “This is what life’s about!”

More police on the beat in crime-hit suburb